The Summer I diagnosed TV characters

By Lesley Cross, MA, LPCC-S

Like so many others, I’ve been hooked on the TV show The Summer I Turned Pretty. Every week, I have tuned in ready for the drama, the love triangle, and the nostalgia of summers at the beach house. This has been quite the topic for discussion in my household and while the viewer in me loves the story, the counselor in me can’t help but scream at the screen! Beneath the romance, this series is packed with mental health issues—grief, codependency, secrecy, blurred boundaries, manipulation (and more!)—that are just begging to be unpacked.

So let’s talk about it.

The Grief of Losing Susannah

Spoiler alert - Susannah’s illness and the ultimate loss of Susannah is the heartbreak running underneath everything, demonstrating complicated grief and loss. Watching each character grieve differently—Conrad pulling away, Jeremiah acting out, Belly avoiding, Laurel snapping, Adam in denial—it is such a real picture of how messy grief is. But what struck me most is how little they actually talk about it. Families often avoid grief because it’s too painful, but silence only deepens the fractures. Without discussing the grief, the characters continue to act out in their own way, none of which are healthy.

Belly and Codependency

Belly is the classic example of codependency. Her whole sense of self seems to rise and fall based on Conrad and Jeremiah’s attention. She leans so heavily on their validation that she loses sight of her own identity. She even gives up Paris—a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity—to prioritize a relationship. That’s not romance, that’s self-abandonment.

Belly also becomes a people pleaser, often sacrificing her own wants for others. Some of this traces back to Susannah, who placed her own dream of the debutante ball and desired dress on Belly’s shoulders. Belly complied because she wanted to make Susannah happy. That’s sweet, but it also reinforces a dangerous message: “my job is to meet others’ expectations, even when it costs me my own.”

Belly’s decision to accept a marriage proposal after being cheated on reflects a pattern of seeking external validation and fear of being alone, which highlights ongoing struggles with self-worth, trust, and emotional boundaries. This is classic anxious attachment with her need for reassurance and to be chosen, despite what is in her best interest, again demonstrating her codependency.

The Fisher Brothers

Jeremiah and Conrad grapple with significant mental health challenges that shape their relationships and choices. Conrad struggles with anxiety, depression, and emotional withdrawal, largely tied to the grief of his mother’s illness and death, as well as the pressure he feels to hold his family together. His tendency to internalize pain makes him appear distant and often misunderstood. Conrad shows signs of avoidant attachment, internalizing his pain, withdrawing emotionally and showing a hot & cold relationship cycle with Belly, despite his feelings of affection for her.

Jeremiah, in contrast, exhibits his struggles through insecurity and fear of abandonment, which manifest in jealousy and impulsivity, signs of his anxious-preoccupied attachment. Jeremiah externalizes his emotions, often seeking validation through relationships. Together, their contrasting coping mechanisms highlight how grief, loss, and family pressure impact mental health in very different but equally difficult ways.

The competition between the brothers is central to the tension and emotional complexity of the story. Both brothers vie for Belly’s attention in different ways, highlighting their contrasting personalities—Conrad’s brooding, distant intensity versus Jeremiah’s open, friendly charm. This rivalry is intensified by their emotions surrounding parental approval, as both seek validation and affection from their parents, often feeling overshadowed or judged in comparison to each other. Their competition spills over into jealousy, passive-aggressive behavior, and subtle one-upmanship, affecting their interactions not only with Belly but also with each other. Ultimately, their struggle for both romantic attention and parental validation exposes insecurities, unresolved family dynamics, and the challenges of growing up in a household where love feels conditional.

Toxic Patterns: Taylor and Steven

Let’s not forget Taylor and Steven. Their dynamic screams toxic relationship—manipulation, jealousy, and constant push-pull games. Instead of building each other up, they thrive on tension and drama. This kind of teenage relationship often gets brushed off as “normal,” but it plants early seeds for unhealthy adult relationship patterns.

While it may be easy to blame the challenges faced on the teenage years and budding hormones, the challenge is not just with the teens on the show as the adults are struggling in their own ways!

Blurred Boundaries

Both Susannah and Laurel blur boundaries with their children. Susannah leans on Conrad and Jeremiah as emotional caretakers during her illness, while Laurel lets her own unresolved pain spill into Belly’s world. Instead of being free to just be kids, they’re forced to step into adult roles. This parentified child dynamic often leaves lasting scars.

By relying on her children for emotional support—keeping Conrad as a confidant, turning Jeremiah into a comforter, and projecting her dreams onto Belly—Susannah created a dynamic of emotional incest. This not only blurred boundaries but also shaped the insecure attachment patterns that drive much of the tension in the story.

Susannah often takes a controlling or directive role, influencing decisions and subtly pressuring Laurel to conform to her expectations or maintain appearances. Laurel, in turn, tends to accommodate Susannah rather than assert her own needs, avoiding conflict and prioritizing Susannah’s comfort over her own. This dynamic creates an imbalanced relationship where Susannah’s desires dominate, and Laurel’s personal boundaries—emotional and practical—are frequently compromised, reinforcing patterns of people-pleasing and enmeshment.

Laurel’s Passive-Aggressive Patterns

Laurel fascinates me because she shows how passive-aggressive behavior works in families. She uses silence, sarcasm, and withdrawal instead of direct communication. It’s her way of coping, but it leaves her relationships strained. Instead of true connection, it builds resentment and distance.

The Secrecy of Laurel and John

Then there’s Laurel sneaking around with her ex, John. Instead of facing hard conversations, she hides. But secrecy always breeds mistrust. Kids can feel when something’s off, and being left in the dark forces them to piece together family dynamics on their own—which almost always creates confusion and insecurity. The divorce surely was an impact to them. Belly hints at the struggle she’s experienced because of her parent’s discord. Now there is a secret love rekindling which will surely cause additional pain if not properly shared.

Adam and Susannah’s Strained Marriage

Something the show only hints at—but is impossible to ignore—is the tension between Adam and Susannah, presumably connected to Adam’s affair. The fallout is everywhere. Adam tries to buy his kids’ love back by purchasing the beach house, as if property can replace presence. It’s a perfect example of how money is sometimes used as a shortcut for repair—but without honesty, accountability, and conversation, the wound stays wide open. Adam consistently uses finances as leverage. His gestures aren’t unconditional; they’re transactional. It’s less about love and more about control—teaching his kids, consciously or not, that affection can be bought.

The Mistress

And then there is Adam and Kayleigh. Seriously? He tried to weave his mistress into the family setting, his son’s wedding weekend no less, with no conversation, no explanation—it’s a profound act of disrespect on multiple levels. It communicates to his children that their feelings don’t matter, their family story doesn’t matter, the impact to the family disregarded. That kind of betrayal cuts deep and reshapes trust for years to come. (And don’t start me on Kayleigh’s out of line character behavior, oblivious to the role she’s played or the pain she’s causing with her past and present involvement! That can be a blog of itself!)

And Seriously—Where Are the Parents?

One thing that always makes me laugh (and cringe) through th series is how these characters since high schoolers seem to live in a world with little to no adult supervision. They’re navigating grief, relationships, and major life decisions without much guidance. While it makes for good TV drama, it also highlights something real: when parents emotionally (or physically) step out, kids are forced to fill the void themselves. And that pressure almost always leads to risky decisions.

Team Neither

Now, let me say something that may not be popular: I’m on Team Neither.

Fans love to debate Conrad vs. Jeremiah, but from a counselor’s perspective, neither of them is in a healthy place to build a lasting relationship with Belly—and Belly isn’t in a healthy place either. Conrad is emotionally shut down and avoids his pain. Jeremiah seeks constant validation and externalizes his grief. Belly sacrifices her own dreams and identity for the sake of being chosen. Conrad, Belly, and Jeremiah enter young adulthood without any real models of what a healthy marriage looks like, and it shows in how they navigate their own relationships.

Susannah and Adam’s marriage is defined by secrecy, infidelity, and avoidance, while Laurel’s guarded stance on love leaves little room for demonstrating vulnerability in partnership. Because of this, the teens have no foundation for healthy discussions, problem-solving, or emotional honesty. Belly, Jeremiah, and Conrad frequently blur lines between friendship, romance, and loyalty, creating cycles of hurt and confusion. Instead of open communication, emotions are often acted out impulsively, leading to betrayal and mistrust. Their focus is almost entirely on passion, loyalty, and jealousy, rather than on the practical and relational elements that sustain real commitment—shared decision-making, financial planning, compromise, and long-term vision. Instead of building understanding or practicing partnership skills, their dynamics are rooted in emotional intensity, rivalry, and insecurity. This lack of healthy modeling leaves them ill-prepared to create stable, lasting relationships and perpetuates cycles of conflict rather than collaboration.

That’s not the recipe for a strong partnership. That’s a recipe for continuing cycles of codependency, people-pleasing, and unmet needs.

Sometimes the healthiest choice isn’t choosing between two people—it’s choosing yourself. Belly doesn’t need a boyfriend to “complete her.” What she really needs is space to grow into her own identity, grieve her own losses, and learn how to stand strong without needing to be rescued or validated.

Final Thoughts

So yes, while I watch each week as a fan, the counselor in me finds the hour each week cringe worthy. This story isn’t just about a summer love triangle—it’s about grief, broken boundaries, secrecy, codependency, manipulation, and the painful reality that love is never simple when family wounds are left unhealed.

And maybe that’s why the show resonates so deeply. Because behind every love story is a family story—and sometimes the bravest ending isn’t “happily ever after” with a partner. Sometimes it’s finding wholeness in yourself first!